Thursday, August 6, 2015

A letter to the Grandmother I never met....

You were born in a different day and age.

You had it so difficult.

I'm so sad that your mother died in North Dakota on a frigid December night when you were just four years old and your three siblings were not much younger or older than you.   Your mom was so far from her family that loved and cared for her.  Why your dad took her so far away I will never know. I think that your mom, Josephine, had it hard. I imagine her being sick and dying trying to comfort her children that she loved with all her heart.  Trying to comfort you.   It must have been so heart breaking.  I can only imagine how much she loved you all.

After your mom died, your dad came running back to Illinois with you and your siblings in tow and shortly remarried.  I think he remarried so he could have someone take care of you and your three siblings. That wicked  woman never treated you or your brothers and sister kindly.  She was a bitch.  I'm sorry for you.  Thank God for your momma's parents, George and Grace, who took you in at 14 and loved and cared so deeply for you.

You weren't too young when you got pregnant with my mother and he wasn't either. He whispered all kinds of romantic things in your ear and you believed him because you were good and you loved him. He had it good. At 24 he was a Greek, spoiled prince, living at home with his mom and dad who pampered, defended and gave him everything.   He could do no wrong in their eyes.  He was pompous and arrogant.  He didn't stand by you and his parents didn't either so you stayed with your Grandparents, pregnant and afraid, until you gave birth to my mom in 1940,

You gave her  up into foster care and when you were pregnant again,  you reluctantly gave her up for adoption. She was two years old.  I know you didn't want to.   His family wouldn't stand for his irresponsibility again and told him that he couldn't keep giving his children away so he married you.
You raised four daughters and a son with him and sometimes spoke about ....her.   My mother.  They knew and they searched.   My mother knew and searched then she told me and I searched.    I found you.

You were gone but your daughters found each other and confronted their father when my mother was there.  He embraced, acknowledged and accepted my mom.  He said he always looked out and followed her (I remember him stopping me on my way to school and my mom remembers him stopping her for directions too).

After hearing your story my mom was thankful that you gave her up for adoption.

She was the light of her family's eyes.  She was very, very loved.  She had a wonderful and pampered childhood that you could have never provided her.

I wish I could have met you.  You were strong.  You were brave and wonderful.  You were a good mother.   I love you,

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