Love

Love is powerful.

When I love someone it can over-power me.

Is that good or is that bad?

When someone I love is hurting, I hurt. I'm not saying that in some kind of corny way but I'm saying that from deep within my heart. I really mean it.

When someone I love is hurting, I hurt.

It's my individual and personal instinct to want to take that pain away and when I can't do something to make it go away for them, then I feel powerless.

So. Love is powerful and Love is powerless.

Cimmy - Hopelessly Devoted

It's 5:30am on a hot, Chicago August morning in 1978.

The sun is rising.

We're still awake and squished together, cuddled up and giggling in my twin-sized bed. She's farting and pulling the blankets over our heads.

"Turtle!"

"Jesus Christ Cim! Cut it out, you pig!" More giggles and tremendous laughter.

My brother's voice bellows from his bedroom. "Shut the hell up you crazy bitches! I can't stand it anymore!"

Nothing gives Cim and I more pleasure than knowing we're driving my older brother out of his mind. His bedroom is attached to mine and there is no getting away from us. Gotta love those old Chicago bungalows!

Cim rolls out of bed, taking and wrapping all of the blankets around her long, lanky body. She musses her hair up and makes - what she thinks is - a sexy entrance into my brother's room.

"Hey Tony, I'm Sandra Dee and I want you to know I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't rat my hair and I get ill from one cigarette - 'cough, cough, cough'"

"Get the hell out of here Cim. You're nuts!" barks my brother. But, from my bed, I can tell that he is holding back his laughter and loving every minute of it.

Cim starts singing Hopelessly Devoted to You at the top of her lungs. It's 1978 and Grease (the movie) was the summer craze.

I'm laughing hysterically because now my yellow lab, Rebby, has jumped up on Cim and she is using him as her dance partner and acting as if he is her John Travolta a.k.a Tony Zucco. Cim is singing, "My heart is saying Pleeeeeeeease don't leave me. My head is saying dooooooon't let go-o-o!

My bedroom door flies open! There stands my dad in his boxer shorts. "What the HELL is going on in here!? It's 5:30 in the morning, god-dammit! Knock it off!"

Cim turns and makes a run back for my bed. The blankets are tangled around her feet and she wipes out, face first onto the floor! WWHHOOOMP!!! Rebby climbs on top of her and starts to hump her. My brother breaks out into a loud, uncontrollable laughter. Tears are falling down my cheeks and I think I'm gonna' pee my pants!

Cim lifts her head from the floor and her enormous brown eyes look Dad square in the face. Calmly and in her sexiest voice Cim says, "Hi, I'm Sandra Dee, I'm sorry and I love you."

"Go to bed, god-dammit !" yells Dad as he slams my bedroom door shut behind him.

Cim climbs back into bed with me and whispers, "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't get you in trouble. You're dad hates me now." I could tell she was hurt and scared. Cim really loved my dad.

A few seconds later my bedroom door squeaks open. Dad's head pops in, he looks at us with a tender eye, pauses and then he gives Cimmy a grumpy smile and says to her, "I love you too."

Then the door quietly shuts behind him.

I don't think my dad will ever know how much that meant to her.

We couldn't help but love her.

Hey, I'm not Perfect!

My Imperfections....Love Me or Don't.

1. When my kids were little I would pour them a bowl of cereal and pass out on the couch watching Rainbow Bright while they ate breakfast.

2. When my kids were school aged, I'd send them out the door to WALK to school , go back to bed, wake up at 2:25 and pick them up at 2:30. Hey! At least I picked them up.

3. When my kids were teenagers and didn't come home at curfew, I'd go out in my pajamas and wet hair to find them, humiliate them and bring them home.

4. I let dishes sit in my sink for four or five days.

5. I wear the same socks for three days in a row.

6. I hate deodorant. It makes my armpits itch. I'd rather smell like B.O.

7. Sometimes I sleep in the same shirt and bra I wore all day....AND the day before!

8. I rarely make my bed.

9. I floss my teeth with plastic bags.

10. I roll out of bed, throw on clothes, don't brush my hair or put on makeup and go to work on some mornings.

11. I do not take daily showers or baths. I bathe/shower every other day...sometimes every other, other day.

12. I can't figure out my Religion.

13. I don't balance my checkbook....ever!

14. I hate that I love to procrastinate.

15. I am addicted to the Food Channel.