Thursday, August 5, 2010

Putting Rejection into Perspective

I've been rejected. As of September 30th I am out of a job. Rejected. Not because I didn't do a good job. Not because I wasn't dependable. Outsourcing. That's it...whether I agree with it or not. I, and about 300 other collegues have been outsource. It's the corporate American, Non-American way and there's not a damned thing I can do about it.

For the past six months I knew that this has been coming. Every week or so, the company has sent an email regarding the "transition/outsoucing" process. I thought I was mentally prepared for it.

The mail came and I opened the envelope with my 60 days notice in it...well, it sucked. It felt as if a sledge hammer, with a big REJECTED stamp, popped out of that envelope, sledged me in the forehead and knocked me out cold. It hurt.

I've been in a depression since. Every day I sit on the front porch, smoking, thinking and feeling sorry for myself. I do try to put all of this insanity into perspective. I think I'm making progress. My way of "putting it into perspective" is knowing that it could be worse. Rejection sucks but...

1. My parents have loved me and supported me, even when I've really screwed up. They are always there to remind me how wonderful, talented and loved I am. When I'm feeling depressed or sad or rejected (lol) I can always count on my parents love and support. My mom is always reminding me that I have a great personality and how talented I am. I tell myself that "she's my mother, she HAS to say those things" but I have lots of friends who never heard those things from their mother.

2. My kids call me, visit me and generally like me. If they didn't want me in their lives that would be devestating. But they DO like me and want me and visit me. They tell me often how much they enjoy my cooking and their dinner time visits establish that as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

3. I have the greatest love in my life. Michael. He loves me and I love him. We enjoy laughing, cooking, chatting and being couch potatoes together. We snuggle and cuddle. He smells like Gold Dial. He laughs at how I steal the blankets at night. He loves me with or without makeup, gussied up or in mis-matched jammies all day. Michael reminds me every single day that I am love and that I am worth loving. I really WANT to spend the rest of my life with him, I enjoy every day with him and I look forward to growing very, very old with him.

4. I don't suffer. I'm never hungry or cold. I have a television, air-conditioning, heat, a stove to cook my food on, a washer and dryer and clothes to put them in. I have a roof over my head. I have a garden in my tiny yard - I have a yard! I have a computer and the internet. I have this post. I know these things seem are simple things but I have been reminding myself every day that there are so many people living in this world who don't have these simple luxuries. There are so many people in this world who truly suffer every day.

5. Last, but not least, I have hope. I hope for my parents continued support, my childrens continued admiration, Michaels continued uncondional love and I hope for the simple things in life that make me happy. I hope to find a new job

Putting things in perspective I think that even though I've been rejected, I can handle it. They don't know me, they don't love me, they don't sit down to dinner with me they really don't care about me.

That job is not my life---I thought it was.

It's just my pay-check.

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